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Going through a divorce? - Here are six important pointers to assist you

Updated: Jan 16

Divorce is a reality that's always complicated even if mutually consented. It is an emotionally charged process, at the same time, potentially burdening, financially, time consuming and life changing all in one!

In many cases, marriages that have borne children further create serious considerations and worse carry heavy impact on them. Here, it is essential to reduce as much possible, pain and pressure that the innocent children face when their parents decide to go separate ways.

Until today it is unfortunate that there exists no guaranteed method for an entirely hassle-free divorce. However, constructive steps have been carved out for divorcing couples to follow, which allow the smoothest possible journey right from the start of proceedings to the final judgement.

Sharanjit shares some of these guidelines:

1) Effective and Open Communication:

Always keep channels of exchanging perspectives open yet respectfully with spouses during the divorce process. One example would be the option of marking out co-parenting arrangements. Keep the child's wellbeing as priority rather than upstaging interpersonal conflict, avoid getting into arguments and during discussions. Displaying a child centred front and a cooperative approach, shall definitely create security and composure for children during the underlying process of splitting up.

2) Mediation:

A well proven method to both resolve conflict and attain solutions without stress and strain. By engaging a professional and experienced mediator, your spouse and you shall have a neutral middle person to negotiate matters including that of children related, or other tough blocks such as asset division. Mediation shall also compliment the effective communication approach because the third voice will connect the two other voices rather than have clashes during problematic conflicts.

3) Child-Centred Methods:

By keeping the best interests in mind of your children, when making crucial decisions during a divorce that are often divisive and tearing, self-centric and non-cooperative objectives get downplayed, thus creating harmonious decision-making processes. This approach may well befit divorces with kids only but can extend to plain couples who are finding it a challenge to attain amicable solutions owing to their egocentrism. Always consider the emotional well-being and stability of children when reaching consensus concerning custodial rights, access and co- parenting.

4) Engage Professional Help

Do not hesitate to involve experts who specialise in assisting couples or families undergoing divorce. Therapists, counsellors and psychologists have what it takes to offer help that ordinary family members lack. For instance, there is an imperative need for support for young children during the challenging phase of their parents’ divorce. Professional help can offer coping strategies and mechanisms to all involved in a complex divorce where in cases even matrimonial homes get rearranged, displaced, etc.

5) Maintain Everyday Life Routine:

Spouses and children are often subject to displacing circumstances during the divorce journey. Work and school amongst many other everyday routines face potential disruption that lead to failure and destruction. Even basic everyday routines, such as healthy diets and exercise get compromised when the impact of an uprooting is experienced during divorces. It is thus very necessary to pay attention to unstabling forces and be very conscious of anomalies. Instead, much effort is needed to maintain, for instance, a child’s school going or CCA participation or tuition routines, during troubling times of all nature triggered by the detriment of divorce.

6) See a Family Lawyer:

In line with the notion of seeking professional help from family experts, it is highly recommended that a divorcing spouse engage a lawyer to represent them. A divorce is ultimately a battle that needs to arrive at an ending, so one should be equipped with legal knowledge and measures to arrive at the best possible culmination of a powerful bond that has dissolved and diminished. An experienced family lawyer will always help protect your interest and that of your child just in case; Divorces often evoke the ugly human sides in individuals who turn selfish and schemy. The lawyer is like a third eye that can help detect current and future disasters if certain outcomes work in a certain favour. Allow a lawyer to navigate you around legal processes and customise approaches tailored to your circumstances. They can help you understand your rights and extend these to include parenting obligations and privileges.

In conclusion, always bear in mind that each and every divorce case is unique with specific characteristics and dynamics. The 6 approaches discussed earlier may objectively work well when applied after careful consideration. Where children are involved, parents must remember always to push their personal conflict and discord aside to instead, cooperate and carve out a stable method for their kids to adapt. Reduce pain and suffering when it's within your control. Do not allow yourself or your child to be a victim of circumstances without addressing the problem with professional help.

Divorce Lawyer
Sharanjit Kaur - Family Lawyer

You may contact Sharanjit @ +65 8118 7860.



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